Ramblings of the mad

Torment


I can be trusted not to be fake and not to sleep around.
I never preyed but tonight I am on my knees
there is a million different people from one until the next
Once again as predicted I left my broken heart open and you chose to rip it out.
how do I get back to the place where I fell asleep next to you?

Maybe this is all a dream (Nightmare)
I need to hear some sounds that recognise the pain inside me.
Every waking hour, I am carefully choosing my confessions.
But everyday drags on and on, I think I have had enough of this life.

Friday's I used to be in love.
Now I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.
A year has passed, since love broke my heart.
It messed up my mental health and I was quite unwell.

I don't know what's right and what is really real anymore or how I am supposed to feel.
There is a hole where your soul should be, maybe you lost control of it.
You said I was crazy but you are a reprobate.
You shouldn't have tested me, because you got a reaction.

Believe me this time, when I tell you I don't want to see you again.
Now you have gone, It feels as if I have been let out of my cage.
If we could have just been honest, we could have dealt with the problems
if we could just go back to the start, I would have made a different decision,
it would have hurt a little bit then but all the pain you have caused me, would not exist.
the good times with us, do not outweigh the worst.
and in the end it wasn't worth it

The year and a half we spent together, I never had much fun
All the times you told me I should have been sober, well it wasn't gonna happen with you.
does this seem spiteful, vindictive to you?
Maybe if you had been good in bed,  I wouldn't feel so hard done by.

Don't get me wrong, I loved you when I saw you, I thought you were my fairytale one.
Now I have met someone whose smile sets me on edge but I am scared, terrified.
He tells me he is no good, but coming from you to him, he is probably a saint,
I want to give him the chance because it might just be fantastic.

Do I feel alright? Not even slightly, But the madness seems attractive